Asides Dating Work

“I should blog today.”

2023 is halfway over, and by all intents and purposes, it’s probably the worst year of my adult life. That’s a bold statement — I mean, there’s still the other half of the year to go through — but the combination of events I’ve lived through so far ain’t making the latter part of this year look too rosy. However, in the spirit of perseverance, here I am still pushing on. So that’s something, I guess.

Here’s a recap of what’s happened since my last post.

Asides Dating Sex Work


  • The last six months of this year have been a real shitshow. Russia and Ukraine are still at war, Trump is making a comeback as he prepares to run for president again, Twitter got bought out by human boil Elon Musk, and tens of thousands of tech professionals are out of work due to this “is it or isn’t it” economic recession. I can’t speak for anyone else, but the combination of all this — and more! — has my levels of holiday cheer at near terminal levels. I need a job, a break, a win, and a hug. I’ll take them in any order if you’re listening, Santa.
  • On a lighter note, some promising things are occurring. I’ve been interviewing for a director position at a nonprofit, and after two rounds of interviews, I feel pretty good about it. They’ll let me know whether I got the job or not before Christmas.
  • I’ve also started back freelancing for the time being and I just landed a pretty big contract on Friday with a SV tech startup. I also have another contract out with a big NYC law firm, and I’m currently doing some consulting with a DMV-based strategy firm. None of these contracts have materialized into money yet, but they should pretty soon. Invoices are out, so fingers crossed those get paid before Christmas.
  • I went out on a date back in July with Sparky, this super cute and nerdy therapist I met off Grindr. After messaging each other for a month, we finally met up and went out to Fox Bros. for dinner. He offered to drive me home afterwards, which then led into us making out on my couch and having bloated, pork-scented sex all over my apartment. We didn’t see each other again, but not because of the hookup. During dinner, he mentioned how his usual type of guy is thin, white, and neurodivergent. Seeing as how I don’t tick any of those boxes, it became pretty clear that I was just his Nubian experiment. Plus, he already has three partners! And they all live together! Ain’t nobody got time for that. (Spoiler alert: he’s Black too. So.)
  • I started streaming on Twitch! My channel is still very new, and I don’t have a schedule yet, but I’m going to take some time over these last two weeks of the year and try and stream more. I’ll announce on Twitter when I’m live. Drop in and watch me solve some crossword puzzles and play old school JRPGs!
  • Random fact about me: I’ve only been to Trader Joe’s once, and that was to buy alcohol. It was at the one in Union Square that’s now closed.
  • You can thank this little earworm for the title of this post. (And thank TikTok for putting me on.)

Dating Sex

How Fit People Signal for Each Other on The Apps (Grindr, Scruff, Growlr, Tinder, etc.)

  • I like going to the gym
  • working out
  • looking for a gym partner
  • workout partner would be great
  • 💪
  • 🏋️‍♂️
  • I workout
  • I play [insert sport here]
  • Workout on a regular basis
  • fit guy here

But wait…there’s more!


“I’m the old bitch at the club now.”

I haven’t dated much in my 30s. Mainly this is because I focused on work and building my career, which made ignoring my love life simple. But now I’m just a few months out from 40 and still in the house thanks to this pandemic, and I gotta tell you folks…I’m ready for the real thing.

I think.

Dating Sex

“Every decision is a risk. Every risk is a decision.”

I read this piece on FiveThirtyEight a few days back about the coronavirus, and this part jumped out at me:

We can’t live like we did before coronavirus. We won’t live like we did immediately after it appeared, either. Instead, we’re in the muddy middle, faced with choices that seem at once crucial and impossible, simple and massively complicated. These choices are an everyday occurrence, but they also carry a moral weight that makes them feel different than picking a pasta sauce or a pair of shoes. In a pandemic that’s been filled with unanswerable questions and unwinnable wars, this is our daily Kobayashi Maru. And no one can tell us exactly what we ought to do.